project proposals
This film revolves around the separation + recreation of oneself into 3 distinct ghosts; past, present, and future. These 3 partial selves are then made into more potent, less real characters through writing and movement; invisible selves made visible. The questions driving this process have been: what have I knowingly and unknowingly absorbed into myself? How many things am I? How far away can I push these selves while still keeping them at least semi real/honest? I have been exploring these questions through poetry and screenplay writing as well as improvisational practices that lead into choreography. I reached back into my old works and inspirations, trying to use them both as I once did and as I would now. These ideas and practices have been most clear for me when partnered with video editing and cinematography as it is the medium I feel this kind of character work lends itself to. In addition to this, film is a medium that allows for visual + sonic works to mesh seamlessly which feels essential to this project. I am interested in interweaving text and animation in post production to fully realize the dance + words that I have generated and captured. Influences that I am currently looking to during this process include but are not limited to: car seat headrest (will toledo)/1 trait danger (andrew katz), toni morrison, yorgos lanthimos, adrian piper, assata shakur, anne carson, stray kids, SHINee, blood orange (devonte hynes), jpegmafia (barrington hendricks), tyler the creator (tyler okonma), donna tartt, + james baldwin.Though this iteration of the research is currently specific to myself/selves, I find that leaning into the specificity of self often opens things up to others in an unexpected way. With this film, I hope to engage other QPOC first and foremost. I am ultimately making this project for myself(s), so I feel that the material I am dealing with naturally appeals to those who have felt similar feelings. The process of creating this work has brought me some clarity and release; I hope it can do the same for others. In being both as honest and dishonest as I could when the work called for it, in dealing with this line between reality and unreality, I was able to find catharsis in this internal work. Now that it exists outside of myself, I feel clearer, more honest in my ghosts + body.
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This hyper-local version of my research is it's most honest. In making this film in my childhood home, generating all of the movement myself, writing and gathering texts myself, editing the film myself, + being filmed by my sister who is nearly as much myself as I am, I was able to fall into these ghosts fairly seamlessly. Relying on my sister a lot as a collaborator was instrumental to this project; she is much more experienced in filmmaking and cinematography than I am and is also one of the most brilliant and exciting artists I have the honor of knowing. In this hyper-local iteration, my research has become inseparable from my surroundings. My home is the set but it’s also my home, I am these characters but I’m also myself. It’s hard to escape, but it also makes it feel easier in a way. Everything feels like the work sometimes. These ghosts live here and I am thankful that I was able to capture them and create a more solid home for them.
Moving into the future, I would like to expand this work into a larger scale film. The concepts and the strategies I used in this version still feel very relevant and essential to me even if the scale expands; still revolving around this concept of splitting into three distinct ghosts. In a future version, the person doing the splitting may not be me, these ghosts may not all be played by the same person, it may not take place in a home; I am always more concerned with listening to the process and letting it find it's most honest self than shaping the outcome to fit the vision I have for it at the start. Letting my work find its own breath is essential to me. Using dialogue and movement in conjunction with one another to portray the concept, ideally this expanded project would be a collaboration with filmmakers and actors as well as other dancers. Now that I have felt the catharsis and grounding this ghosting process has brought me, I want this ghost making and catching to be a process I share with other artists.
Even farther into the future and with even more expansion, something I have been interested in is this idea of a ghost party, a place where these invisible selves can be made visible, a place where an ultra self can exist for anyone. Something not too dissimilar from the ideas of Frank Ocean’s PrEP+ club. I am interested in a space that exists temporarily, a space that isn’t recorded but only remembered by the people inside it at that time. A temporal home. As sound and temporality are two of the most essential elements of this research, I feel like they would be well portrayed in a community process such as this.